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Guilt is a negative emotion. We have all experienced sometime. But in reality it is very useful, because it invites us to reflect on our actions and how to proceed to avoid making mistakes repeatedly. However, this emotion can become destructive when it becomes an obsession for some people, which makes them get caught up in this feeling.
Why do feelings of guilt appear?
In some cases, the fault is a emotion triggered in childhood, due to failed social relationships or external stimuli received by people close to their environment (parents, friends ...) that some people still carry in adult life.
The extreme fault is a unnecessary discomfort created by our mind and our own thoughts, where it has its origin. Therefore, it is important to know what kind of thoughts can trigger this emotion.
First, the fault may be due to extreme polarized thinking. This type of thinking makes us conceive concrete situations in an extreme way, perceiving them as good or bad, and without paying attention to the different nuances.
In addition, this type of thinking makes us simplify the experiences we live without giving us the possibility of relativize what happened to us or try to see the situation from another point of view.
Therefore, polarized extreme thinking It is governed by strict standards created by ourselves, which results in a form of perfectionism that prevents us from enjoying daily life in a normal way.
In the same way, people who blame themselves for everything usually show low self-esteem, which makes relationships with their surroundings often fail. Likewise, these people tend to be submissive in their relationship with others.
On the other hand, another essential factor in understanding why guilt feelings appear is the way we face this emotion. Thus, the way in which we understand the guilt that we feel is key for it to become something negative or positive.
When we experience guilt, it is important to be aware that it is a necessary feeling in our life, since we can learn from him and avoid making the same mistakes in the future.
Likewise, avoiding it or doing as it does not exist will only bring us more problems in the future. Therefore, it is important reflect on what has led us to experience guilt and how can we solve this.
How to get over the blame
If we want to stop blaming ourselves for everything that happens to us, we must try face situations in a constructive way, trying not to repeat mistakes and being aware that we are not guilty of everything that happens to us.
Therefore, here are some keys to relativize the feeling of guilt, as well as to be able to identify and deal with it without it becoming a negative emotion that dominates our lives.
To begin, it is essential to understand guilt as a learning factor: whether or not a given situation is our fault, we must use this feeling to learn from our mistakes and not to condemn us to ourselves.
In addition to this, it is important use compassion with ourselves. This does not mean that we practice victimhood but that, just as we see the positive aspects of other people, we should be able to see ours as well.
This is a good way to realize that on many occasions what fails is not within ourselves, but is the product of certain circumstances beyond our control that we cannot control.
Another way to overcome the feeling of guilt is take responsibility. For example, if you feel guilty about a specific person, the best option is to take charge of the situation and apologize, in order to prevent guilt from being installed in our routine.
Also, when we consider that we are guilty of any situation, we must to know Forgiving ourselves and being aware that making mistakes does not make us bad people, but is something inherent in our life and way of interacting with the environment.
However, to overcome feelings of guilt, you need to really apply these measures to your life. However, if you feel you cannot do it yourself, always you can turn to a professional therapist.
Sometimes, it can be difficult to understand guilt and learn to overcome it by ourselves, so the help of a professional will facilitate this process and give us clues to deal with this process in the best possible way. In the same way, talk to a family member or friend It can also help us see the problem from another perspective.
Guilt is a feeling that can make us get trapped in negativity, which will make us feel bad for everything that happens to us. However, this It is a necessary feeling that we must learn to handle so that it does not interfere in our lives.
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